WOMEN'S ENGLISH:



Yes = No



No = Yes



Maybe = No



I'm sorry = You'll be sorry



We need = I want



It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now



Do what you want = You'll pay for this later



We need to talk = I need to complain



Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to



I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!





You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot



You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??





Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs



Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive



How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like



I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV



Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful



You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me



Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead





MEN'S ENGLISH:



I'm hungry = I'm hungry



I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy



I'm tired = I'm tired



Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you



Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you



Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you



May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you



Nice dress = Nice cleavage!





You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you



What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question



I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?





I love you = Let's have sex now



I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!





Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me



Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys



I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay